The hill I will die on: Cinemas have been getting away with lies. Films should begin on time | Jeffrey Ingold

If cinemas must run 20 minutes of adverts before a feature, they could at least be honest about it. Or, I have a better solution …

D o you remember the last time you were lied to? I certainly do. I was tricked by the North Finchley Vue, which sold me and my boyfriend tickets to a 7.15pm showing of The Odyssey. Guess what was playing at 7.15pm? A car advert. Ten minutes later, it was a trailer for the horror film Werwulf. Then there was an advert for Vue, as if I wasn’t already there. The film was half an hour late to its own showing when it finally started at 7.45pm.

I am sick and tired of cinemas getting away with such treachery. I don’t want to follow in the footsteps of my friend, who knows that the ads at her local run for 22 minutes so slinks in at just the right time. I shouldn’t have to do mental maths because I am being lied to by cinemas. We are all the victims of their predatory time-wasting system.

How can we succeed where the Connecticut senator failed? Simple: we also get rid of assigned seating. Say goodbye to paying £26 for an Ultra Lux recliner if you want the best view. It’s a flat fee no matter where you sit. Welcome to the Hunger Games of cinema seating.

If you want a “good” seat for a film, you have to earn it by showing up early. Exactly like when I was young, the ads and trailers will play before the start time so the film can begin promptly. Arrive on time, after the trailers, and you might be stuck in the front row, but that’s on you for avoiding the ads.

I’m just a cinephile, standing in front of a movie theatre, asking it to respect me and my time. Why is that so hard?

Jeffrey Ingold is a freelance journalist covering LGBTQ+ issues, music and culture