Europe's dating market malaise fuels rise in female heteropessimism
Dating columnist Annie Lord's debut novel "The Project" highlights a widening disconnect between educated women and a broken dating app economy that treats people as disposable.
Annie Lord, the 30-year-old British Vogue dating columnist who stopped writing about her own love life in 2024, has published her debut novel, "The Project." The book follows Daisy and Maya, two single women in south-east London who attempt to emotionally and physically remake a laddish male friend out of sheer frustration with the modern dating market.
The novel arrives as heterosexuality undergoes what many young women describe as a public relations crisis. Dating app fatigue is now widespread, and prominent figures like Rosalía and Julia Fox have recently embraced celibacy. This reflects a broader societal shift where a relationship is no longer universally viewed as the ultimate marker of personal fulfilment.
Lord's fiction captures a structural imbalance in the modern social economy. Women, raised to be emotionally intelligent and heavily encouraged to invest in self-improvement, are finding that the supply of equally developed men has not kept pace. "It does feel like women have done all this work and then finding someone who matches that is difficult," Lord says.
The root of this malaise lies in the mechanics of digital matchmaking, which have fundamentally altered social interactions. Even when connections happen offline, the psychological framework of dating apps persists. "People treat each other as disposable because they’ve got the mindset of an app," Lord observes, noting she has largely stopped using the platforms because users frequently flake at the last minute.
Lord originally built her career by turning private romantic frustrations into public commentary, starting with a viral Vice essay that led to her 2023 memoir, Notes on Heartbreak. However, she eventually abandoned her confessional Vogue column because mining her personal life for copy was actively interfering with her real-world relationships. "I decided I wanted to prioritise my romantic life a bit more," she explains.
By shifting to fiction, Lord provides a broader anthropological look at a generation of women navigating a deeply flawed dating landscape. Despite documenting years of heartbreak and absurdity, she remains cautiously optimistic about the long-term viability of the market. "I do think that one day I’m going to meet someone I really like and run off into the sunset," she says.
